I Don't Think I Like You Very Much

I got a GPS (Global Positioning System). My car is fifteen years old. The idea of getting lost and the fear of breaking down if I'm lost was starting to freak me out a teeny bit. So I gave in. I've been in cars with people who use them, they didn't seem perfect, but neither am I.


And they got pretty cheap.


Today was the first time I used it, I had a few errands to run so I just programmed in "home" and went from there. I think it told me to turn left when I needed to turn right, and it just stopped doing its satellite thing for about a minute. Aside from that it worked fine. Oh, and it can't read traffic signs like "no left turn".


Later that day it was time for the big test! I needed to travel to unknown parts. But I had my GPS so I had no fear. Right as I turned off of my street "she", after all it is a women speaking, started to act weird, so I calmly restarted her. She was doing fine until I reached the highway, maybe I just wasn't listening carefully but I didn't see the exit she told me to take. I saw the one with the number 13A, but I didn't see 13B. Once I passed the exit I didn't see, she said: "recalculating".


I had to be somewhere at a certain time, but I gave myself an extra half hour, so I wasn't too worried.. Well, once we were on the recalculation route things really got fun. I had no clue where I was, I missed one turn because I didn't see the street sign and was too out of my safety zone to make an executive decision. Long story short, I got where I needed to be, on time and in one piece. I had NO IDEA where she took me but, I was happy.


Then came the rain.


I got to my next destination with only a slight hitch. By the time I returned to my car the rain was more like a torrential downpour. I get nervous driving in the rain, the radio station was talking about flash floods and traffic issues but I knew how to get home. For the fun of it I left the GPS on. I was alerted that there was a traffic jam and another route was suggested by my new friend. I figured this thing is run by satellite so it must know better than me.    


I followed her commands.


About two minutes after I got off at the exit she "suggested" I use, I knew I was going to be headed towards my own personal "Twilight Zone". It was loaded with cars, trucks and super huge trucks...and traffic was not moving. I will not bore you with the gory details, let me just say that my thirty minute ride turned into a 2.5 hour ride because of the rain, but more because of my new friend. 


Thinking back over the day and my "Twilight Zone" interlude, I have fondly dubbed her Talking Tina (Tina for short). Because on that day she proved she did not like me very much.