GaGa Over Babies

I have to say I never got what the deal was with people getting all gaga with babies. Seemed all they did was spit up, poop, and cry. I used to tell my mother I'm not having a kid until I can get one that's around two and get rid of it at around eight. "I don't like babies." I would tell her. "Wait until you have your own." she would say.

When some of my friends had babies they asked: "Do you want to hold her?" I politely declined. At my job I was working on a brochure for new mom's. It required lots of pictures of a mom and baby. When I met our baby model, his mom asked if I wanted to hold him, I cringed inside. I'm a professional I thought, you'll be spending two long days with this baby and his mom, buck up. So I did.....at arms length. My entire department of co-workers and friends laughed out loud at me. I looked at them and shrugged, "I don't like babies."  "Wait until you have your own." they said almost in unison.


My second husband and I never had children, the majority of the couples we dated also choose not to have children. I had no regrets, no longings, no needs unfulfilled. We all had cats or dogs, responsibility enough. 


The man I married in my early forties, had a two year old and I became a stepmother. He told me he wanted to have a child with me. I was eight years older. I just smiled, I was confident at the age of forty six I had nothing to fear.


I was wrong. 


I loved every minute of my pregnancy but was very nervous about an actual baby. I wouldn't say motherhood came naturally to me, at least it didn't feel like it. Audrey's first three month's were a struggle for me, I'm told that's normal. At around six months the fun started up and continued until around the age of eight (yeah I was spot on with that) grrr. Kidding. 


I'm still not the person that picks up other people's babies, nor do I coo at them. I still prefer toddlers. 


If you don't like babies, I have some advice: Wait until you have your own.