I don't understand how people don't die from loneliness. The brutal reality catches me in the middle of the night as I lie alone in my queen sized bed, I can be reading, and suddenly it hits me.
Or it can just be the quiet of the night that lets in the reality of the day.
But if I'm honest about it there have been many times I am loneliest with people. Occassionally when I am with one person, but more often with more people around. Just a few people, or at a party of 25ish. Not so much in a large crowd, like at a concert or stadium ~ in a crowd I can clearly see the other lonelies, they just don't always know it. Besides crowds that large MAKE me want to be alone!
My astute sensitivities certainly are not my friends at these times. Not at these "feeling lonely" times.
Other times I feel more clearly satisfied with my situation, not fitting in - is not such a bad thing. I see, hear, feel what others don't. I really don't understand this phenomenon but it is something that gives me some sort of edge - not on other people on my own feelings.
I did an unscientific survey and was surprised to find that many people do not suffer from loneliness. Are they lying?
Ashamed of what they feel?
Who knows, it made me feel more lonely.
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