I'm a selfless person.
I like the term "selfless bitch" only cause I like the wordplay.
I'm not trying to brag its just a fact. I'm not proud of it, sometimes I even complain about it. I never put myself first, which feels out of my control. Of course it's entirely possible that I don't feel that I deserve anything. So I readily give of myself and rarely ask for anything in return. It does get tiresome. I don't take care of myself. I don't eat well, I never treat myself to much, and I even feel guilty if I sit and watch a movie. Right now, at this moment, it feels as if my selflessness will take over. I mean it feels like I could loose myself completely in the care and feeding of others. This has happened before. I have been teased about it. If I didn't do it would someone else step up to the plate?
I wasn't always like this. It seems like it was easier when I lived alone. But that's just a long ago memory. Even when I shop for food I almost never get something only I want. When I go out to dinner my choice is based on price not desire. Even when someone else is buying.
I give freely, without thought.
But aren't I supposed to love myself too?
I like myself, I like my company, sometimes I crack myself up.
I just can't find it in my heart to treat myself the way I treat others.
I don't know what it's all about Alfie.
Are we meant to take more than we give.
Or are we meant to be kind?
